The art of living together - To friendship spin-off
#8: Changes
Author: Ligeia
Fandom: Richy Guitar
Characters: Richy/Igor, Richy/OFC
Rating: PG
Category: Romance/Angst
Summary: Richard couldn't believe he had ended up there.
Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Richy Guitar and all related characters were originally created by Michael Laux. I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.
Richard couldn't believe he had ended up there. But he was hungry, and that was the only place where he could always get free food. He only hoped he wasn't home.
The door opened.
"Hi, mum."
"Richard!" His mother wrapped him in a hug, her face beaming with joy. "How are you, dear? I'm so happy to see you, you never visit your parents anymore." She guided him into the kitchen and made him sit down at the table. "Are you hungry? Do you want a piece of cake? You still like my cheesecake, don't you?"
Richard couldn't help smiling. His mother was always fussing over him as if he was still a small boy. He used to find it extremely annoying, but now he found it quite sweet. It was probably because he didn't have to endure it every day anymore.
"Yeah, mum, I still like your cake. And yes, I'd like a piece. A big piece, I'm starving."
"Of course, dear. With a glass of milk, yes?" She said opening the fridge. "You should eat more. Look at you, you're just skin and bone. I bet you've been living off of currywurst and chips."
Richard rolled his eyes. Well, she wasn't completely wrong there.
She served him a generous piece of cake and a glass of milk, and sat down next to him.
"So," she said. "What have you been up to lately?"
Richard shrugged. "The usual," he replied around a mouthful of cake. "I'm still working at that place, the job kinda sucks, but it's money. Oh, and we played a concert yesterday." He could never talk about the band when his father was around, but his mother was different. She didn't really like the music they played, but at least she showed some interest.
"Good, good," she commented patting his knee. "What about Igor?"
Richard tensed up. "What about him?"
"Well, you two are sharing a flat, aren't you? Do you like living with him? Remember you can come back whenever you want if you have problems."
He swallowed the last of the cake and took a swig of milk.
"No, no problems. I just... I mean, we sort of had a fight earlier today."
"Oh, I'm sorry about that. It's nothing serious, I hope. Igor is a bit... eccentric, but he's a good boy."
"I don't know. I did something quite stupid just to spite him and then I found out I'd hurt him more than I really wanted to."
"Richard," his mother tutted. "Did you at least apologise to him?"
He looked down. "Uhm. No."
"Well, do it then. Problems won't solve themselves out if you simply ignore them."
"But it wasn't only my fault!"
"Is it worth risking a friendship just because you're too stubborn and don't want to make the first move?"
Richard pouted. Damn, he hated it when his mother was right.
"All right, I'll talk to him. Later. Do you have any more cake left?"
She smiled and stoop up.
+++
Richard arrived home in the early afternoon. He hoped Igor was still sleeping, so he would have more time to think of what he could tell him. He was out of luck, though, as his friend was sitting at the kitchen table smoking a cigarette. He was wearing clean clothes and his hair was damp. Richard liked the way it framed his face and fell past his shoulders.
"Hi. Did you sleep?" He walked to the table and sat down across from him.
"A couple of hours," the drummer answered and took a long drag on his cigarette. "It's too late to have a proper sleep, anyway. Might as well get up and do something."
"I'm sorry," Richard murmured, barely audible.
"About what? That I couldn't sleep?"
"No. I mean, yeah, that too, but no. I'm sorry about last night."
Igor didn't say anything. Richard supposed he needed to elaborate now.
"I was an arsehole. I wanted to celebrate with you too, but then I saw the way you were flirting with that friend of yours..."
"I wasn't flirting."
"Well, it looked like she was trying to get in your pants and that you were enjoying the attention. And I thought that maybe you'd grown bored of just getting handjobs and blowjobs and that you wanted a proper fuck, and then I started talking to this girl - Christ, I can't even remember her name - and I thought 'Well, if he's getting laid, I'm getting laid too', and you didn't even look up when I walked right past you and..."
Igor raised his hand, trying to block Richard's speech. "Wait a minute. You ditched me and basically screwed the first girl who crossed your way, because you were jealous of my friend and wanted to get back at me?"
Richard felt utterly stupid. "Uhm, it sounds pretty bad if you put it that way.."
Igor sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Sorry, Richard, but I really can't do this anymore."
"What... What do you mean?"
"You said it yourself this morning: I'm not your boyfriend. We're not a couple, but we're obviously more than just friends. This... thing between us has become way too complicated, we can't go on like this."
'NO!' A voice in Richard's head screamed. 'No, no, no!'
"I thought I could do this, but now I'm not so sure."
'Don't say it, please, don't say it.'
"Maybe sharing a flat wasn't such a good idea."
"No."
Richard finally managed to speak.
"It was the best decision I've ever made."
"Of course, you didn't want to go on living with your parents after Anja dumped you."
Richard ignored the "dumped" comment. "Fuck my parents. And fuck Anja too. I moved in with you because I wanted to live with my best friend. Then things changed between us, but in a good way, because you were still my mate, we had fun together and everything was great. But then things grew more and more complicated. Yes, I was jealous yesterday. Ridiculously so. I couldn't bear the thought that someone else was going to get you in bed. And I was angry with myself for even feeling like that. And when I got to this girl's place, she wanted to do it from behind, and she had long black hair that looked just like yours, and all I could think of while I was screwing her was 'Would Igor look like this if I fucked him? Would he move like this? Would he sound like this?' That's why it was so great, because I was thinking of you the whole time."
Richard was out of breath. He couldn't remember the last time he had spoken so openly about his feelings.
"I know that's not an excuse: I fucked a random girl just to get back at you, and now I realise how much I hurt you. But please, don't say we should just forget everything that's happened in the last months and go back to just being friends." He probably sounded pathetic and desperate, but he didn't care.
Igor was looking at him with the most serious expression Richard had ever seen.
"What do you suggest we do then?"
Richard took a deep breath. "Maybe we should try and turn this... thing into a... real relationship."
Igor blinked. "Are you sure?"
"Yeah. I mean, we don't need to go around and let the whole world know about it, but..."
The drummer smiled. "So you want to be my boyfriend."
"I... Yes." He was still a bit uncomfortable with the idea, but there was really no other way to put it.
Igor smiled. "And you ask me like that? No romantic music, no chocolate, not even a flower?"
"You want flowers?"
"Fuck, no!" Igor burst out laughing. "I'm not a fucking girl! That was a joke, Richard. You know, jokes, humour, yes?"
Richard glared at him. "Fuck you, I'm trying to be serious here. Do you have an idea how difficult this is for me?"
"As difficult as it is for me, maybe?"
"I just... I'm scared, Igor. I don't want to fuck up our friendship. I don't want to lose my best friend just because I couldn't come to terms with my feelings."
"You won't." Igor reached out and covered Richard's hand with his own. "But you need to stop acting like a dickhead."
"I'm not acting like a dickhead. All right, maybe a little bit." He looked up at his friend. "You still haven't answered, though."
"What was the question again?"
"You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?"
Igor grinned. He stood up and walked to were Richard was sitting. He sat down in his lap, put his arms around his shoulders and kissed him. Richard would have heaved a sigh of relief if his mouth hadn't been too busy tasting as much of Igor as he could. He didn't even mind his friend had just smoked a cigarette.
"Is that enough as an answer?" The drummer asked as he pulled back.
Richard looked up at him and smiled. "It'll make do."
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December 2009