Title: Five happy dead boys
Author: Ligeia
Fandom: The Cure
Pairing: Robert/Simon, Roger/Jason (implied)
Rating: PG-13
Category: Humour
Summary: The Cure as brain-eating zombies. Inspired by one of my favourite comic books.
The following story is a mere work of F I C T I O N, meaning it is 100% made up. None of the situations described here ever happened, and even if they did, I have no way of knowing. This is not about spreading rumours or, worse, libel. The people portrayed in this story are real, but I am NOT claiming they did what I wrote. I use their "public personas" and build stories around them as if they were fictional characters.
Perry: "Hey Robert, leave the right hemisphere for me please, will you?"
Robert [crunches a bone] "No, I found this tomb first so I'm going to eat it all. Go look for another one."
Perry: "But this was a painter..."
Robert: "How do you know?"
Perry [points at the inscription] "It's written on the gravestone, see? Please, may I?"
Robert [tosses the bone away and licks his fingers] "No. And why the right hemisphere anyway?"
Perry: "Because that's the artistic part and I am an artist!"
Robert: "Oh sure, I forgot. And what am I supposed to be then?"
Perry: "You're just a clever dick!"
[Simon rushes to Robert and starts licking his face]
Robert: "Hey! What are you doing?"
Simon: "He said you're a dick..."
Robert: "That's just a saying, you dirty dog!"
Simon [pouts] "Oh... Do you want me to stop then?"
Robert: "mmmh...no, go on. Just don't lick my *face*..."
Simon [grins] "Death hasn't changed you a bit, love..."
[Soft moans coming from behind a worn tombstone]
Perry: "Someone's having fun over there."
Robert: "Those two never miss an opportunity. Wild sex in a churchyard... kinky guys..."
Simon: "Or maybe it's just some necro who couldn't sleep tonight..."
Perry: " This is dark, man"
Simon: "Almost too dark..."
* Title borrowed and translated, "Cinque allegri ragazzi morti" © Davide Toffolo
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October 2000