Title: For science
Author: gothikmaus
Fandom: Good Omens (TV)
Pairing: Aziraphale/Crowley
Rating: G/PG-13
Category: Humour, ficlet
Summary: Aziraphale is curious about snake anatomy
A/N: A silly little fic inspired by a conversation with the lovely MartinaH.
Good Omens is © Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman. I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.
Crowley was coiled on the cushion by the window, in the spot Aziraphale had set up specifically for him after he had noticed the demon often curled up there to soak up the warm afternoon sunlight. He hadn't moved in over an hour.
"Crowley?"
No reaction.
"Are you awake, dear?"
The angel had always found the lack of eyelids on Crowley's snake form a little unnerving, he could never tell when the demon was awake. Also, his tendency to sleep for hours (sometimes days) on end and the fact he was quite a heavy sleeper didn't help.
In that specific case, though, all those things were just what Aziraphale needed.
The angel quietly walked up to the unmoving form. Crowley's long body wasn't as tightly coiled as it had been the first few times Aziraphale had found him napping around the bookshop (he liked to think of it as a sign of trust on the demon's part) and his tail was clearly visible.
He tentatively reached out and poked him gently. When the snake didn't stir, he got bolder and touched him with both hands, prodding lightly the area where his tail began and running his fingertips delicately along his sides. The scales were warm from the sun and smoother than he was expecting. It was a pleasant feeling.
"That tickles."
Aziraphale almost jumped back. He immediately withdrew his hands.
"Y-You're awake," he stuttered, feeling very embarrassed. "Listen, Crowley, I can explain."
"Oh?" Crowley slowly uncoiled himself and turned his head towards the angel. "Please, do. I'm quite curious to know why you were fondling me in my sleep."
Aziraphale cringed.
"I wasn't fondling you. I was just..."
"Yes?"
The angel sighed.
"I was just curious."
Crowley tilted his head.
"About?"
"I've always wondered how you can tell where a snake's tail begins. I mean, it's quite clear with other animals, but snakes? They look like they're just one long tail attached to a head."
"That's not..." Crowley tried to explain, but Aziraphale didn't let him finish.
"And then I was reading a book on snakes the other day, and found out they have ribs all along their bodies, but not in their tails. So I thought I could understand where the tail begins, if... Well..."
"If you pawed my unconscious body?"
"Crowley!" Aziraphale exclaimed, scandalised. "It's not like that! It was totally innocent! It was..."
"For science?"
Aziraphale had the distinct feeling Crowley was raising an eyebrow, which was literally impossible because, besides not having eyelids, snakes didn't have eyebrows either.
"Yes!"
"You know, I have nothing against you touching me, it was actually a very pleasant way to wake up, but maybe you should close the bookshop first the next time: what if a customer had walked in on you scientifically fondling me?"
"I've already told you, I was not..."
Now Aziraphale could swear the demon was smirking. He huffed and stomped away, ignoring the series of hisses that sounded very much like laughter coming from the window.
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December 2020