Title: Second best
Author: Ligeia
Fandom: Star Trek TNG
Pairing: P/Q
Rating: [R]
Summary: What happened after Beverly left Picard's quarters at the end of "Attached"? PWP, humour
A/N: My first attempt at writing TNG slash. Written for Kira, who asked for a fic cointaining the following dialogue:
"What's wrong?"
"Do you want the socially acceptable answer or the truth?"
"The truth."
"I haven't had sex in a very long time, and you're really turning me on."
Disclaimer: The Star Trek universe was originally created by Gene Roddenberry and is property of Paramount Pictures. I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.
Jean-Luc Picard stared at the closed door. He couldn't believe it. He had been denying his feelings for Beverly Crusher for almost twenty years, but after sharing a mind bond that had allowed the two of them to look into each other's heads, it was no use trying to hide them any longer. He had just managed to tell her that maybe it wasn't too late for them, and he knew she felt the same way, but she had simply kissed him on the cheek, told him some nonsense along the lines of "Let's just be friends" and left his quarters.
He couldn't believe it.
"Drawn a blank again, Jean-Luc?"
"Q," Picard said without turning around. "This really isn't the best moment for you to show up." He reached for his glass and gulped down what was left of his drink.
"Captain, captain," Q said in a singsong voice and sat down on the sofa next to him. "Be careful with that thing. It's not healthy to get drunk at your age."
"And since when do you worry about my health?"
"Oh, but I always have, mon capitaine," Q replied moving closer. He put his hands on Picard's shoulders and leaned forward so he could speak directly into the captain's ear. "If something were to happen to you, who would entertain me?" He slid his hands down Picard's arms. "You're my favourite toy."
Picard tensed up, but said nothing.
"What's wrong?" Q asked.
Picard hesitated. His reactions were slower than usual. Perhaps Q was right, he shouldn't have drunk so quickly. "Do you want the socially acceptable answer or the truth?"
"The truth."
"I haven't had sex in a very long time, and you're really turning me on."
Q raised an eyebrow. "Why, Jean-Luc, you've never told me you fancy me."
"I don't fancy you!" Picard said shrugging Q's hands off and turned around. "I just... You're..."
"Oh, I see." Q smiled knowingly. "You're horny. You want your pretty doctor. But she's not here. I'm your second best."
"I'm not... horny!" Picard exclaimed, blushing a little. "In fact, I'd like to go to bed and get some sleep, so if you'd just leave..."
"Jean-Luc, you should know better than lie to me," Q said, placing his hands on Picard's thighs and leaning closer. "I could even grow long, red hair if you'd like."
"Enough!" Picard started to stand up, but Q pulled him back down.
"Come on, captain, let's have some fun." He snapped his fingers and Picard found himself naked.
"What the--"
"That's better," Q commented in a casual tone and snapped his fingers again.
They were in the captain's bedroom now. On the captain's bed. And Q was lying on top of him. Picard didn't like the way things were going, didn't like it at all.
"Q, stop this at once!" He demanded.
"But I haven't even started yet," Q replied, pouting. "Don't worry, you'll like it."
"I don't--" Picard gasped as Q reached down and started to stroke his cock at a slow, almost lazy pace.
"You were saying?"
"S-Stop it."
"You're so stubborn. Why do humans have to complicate everything? Why can't you just enjoy what you get? You should be honoured, you know, I don't just go around masturbating Starfleet captains everyday. You want me to stop? Fine."
He released Picard and got up from the bed. The captain sat up slightly, propping himself up on his elbows. He tried to glare, but flushed and panting as he was -not to mention naked- the result was more comical than menacing.
"Is that the 'get out of my sight right now' look?" Q asked. Picard only narrowed his eyes. "Yes, it must be. Okay, I'll leave. Bonne nuit, mon capitaine." He snapped his fingers and vanished.
Picard sighed and let himself fall back on the bed.
"Oh, I almost forgot!"
He closed his eyes and groaned. Was the night ever going to end?
"I can't just leave you in that state, now can I?"
Q's comment instantly alarmed Picard. He opened his eyes just in time to see the entity grin and snap his fingers one last time. He gasped as his body was assaulted by a sea of sensations, each different from the other, but all unbearably good.
He could barely hear Q say, "Sweet dreams," before it all became too much and he was coming like he hadn't come in God knew how long. When he came back to his senses he was still panting.
He looked around the room. No sign of Q. He took a deep breath and reached for the sheets. He needed a shower, but was too drowsy to have one.
"Computer, turn out the light."
He turned over and buried his head in the pillow. Second best wasn't so bad after all.
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January 2004