Title: I didn't mean tobacco
Author: Ligeia
Fandom: The Cure
Pairing: Robert/Simon
Rating: PG at most
Category: Humour
Summary: "How much did you smoke tonight, Simon?"
The following story is a mere work of F I C T I O N, meaning it is 100% made up. None of the situations described here ever happened, and even if they did, I have no way of knowing. This is not about spreading rumours or, worse, libel. The people portrayed in this story are real, but I am NOT claiming they did what I wrote. I use their "public personas" and build stories around them as if they were fictional characters.
"How much did you smoke tonight, Simon?"
"Huh? Just a couple of fags, why?"
"I didn't mean tobacco."
"Ooh, that..." Simon giggled.
Robert palmed his face. "Great..."
"Oi, you had some too. What's the problem?"
"This is the problem," Robert said pointing at Simon's flaccid penis. "You ain't going to get it up anytime soon."
"Oh."
"Oh, indeed. Bah, I'll just go wank in the shower."
"D'ya want a hand?"
"You can't even stand."
"Course I can." Simon started to sit up, only to fall on his side two seconds later.
"Thought so."
"Ooh, you have a stain on your jeans..." Simon giggled again.
Robert rolled his eyes and walked into the bathroom. The last thing he heard before turning the water on was Simon raving about the "pretty cracks in the ceiling".
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January 2005